Hi, welcome to this blog post on hoarding.
This post is dedicated to the relatives and friends of hoarders, which are usually the ones that are aware of the problem, sometimes a long time before the hoarder realises what they’re doing.
The first step which we will be focusing on is getting yourself prepared for an intervention as a family member or friend of the hoarder.
Do please take the time out to learn more about hoarding, what it is, the possible consequences that hoarding can have on the person and how hoarding can be used as a coping mechanism for an underlying issue. Please read our previous blog posts, we cover all of those topics.
Betterhelp mentions that TV shows about hoarding may spread awareness about the disorder, but many experts say these shows paint an incorrect picture about hoarding and how to help a person who hoards.
Don’t get us wrong. Awareness is great, but these shows only show a part of the process.
We imagine that there’s a lot of psychological and other support for the hoarder and the family behind the scenes.
Look for credible sources like the charity Mind. https://www.mind.org.uk/ and other websites.
Betterhelp also advise not to enable the hoarders behaviour.
While taking items against a person’s will is not helpful, adding to their clutter by buying or giving them things or taking them on shopping trips is just as bad.
Let’s be honest, nobody likes their stuff taken away without their permission. This is no exception, no matter how hard it is to watch what it’s doing to them.
Take it step by step. You’ll all get there!
Avoid adding to the clutter by showing your love in other ways and spending time doing activities not related to consumption.
Engaging in activities that have nothing to do with buying or adding to their stuff will deepen your relationship, allowing the upcoming intervention to be received in a better light, as you’ll be a trusted individual in the life of your hoarding loved one.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) at a prearranged time, family members should approach the hoarder to talk about the effect of clutter on their lives and explain that help and support are available.
This is something we’ve touched on in other posts in the series. For now, let’s focus on preparing you for the day of the intervention.
Perhaps for now, just meeting as a group and practising with each other how you are going to approach the person and rehearsing what you are going to say and how will be helpful.
We understand that this intervention will be a big step for everyone involved, and we’re not sure how your hoarding loved one will respond yet.
Managing that anxiety with lots of preparation and possibly input from professionals will help.
Every step you take, whether they’re aware of it or not, is you showing them you care.
You are showing them in subtle ways that you care and they can receive help if they are open to it…
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